These days, Hollywood seems to be going crazy over birders. So crazy, in fact, that we've had TWO whole movies made in our honor, The Big Year and A Birder's Guide To Everything, in the past few years. Unfortunately, these movies tend to flop when it comes to making money. Since we still believe we should spread the good word of birdophilia, we have suggested five excellent movie ideas to Hollywood's finest writers and producers. We drew inspiration from some already-popular movies to reach a wider audience. Here are our ideas:
The 40 Year-Old Virginia Rail is a lighthearted comedy about an awkward old Virginia Rail who has yet to mate. Helped along by his good friends, Sora and Marsh Wren, he undergoes a transformative journey to discover himself, and what it means to be a rail. And he gets laid.
The Hunt for Red Phalarope
A Soviet nuclear submarine captain becomes obsessed with birding amidst the height of the Cold War. He risks life and limb to find his pelagic nemesis - the Red Phalarope. His insatiable quest ultimately places him in the last place imaginable - the Atlantic coast of the United States.
Forced into subversion by the American Ornithologist's Union, a conglomeration of Oregon and Pink-sided Juncos must fight for their independence against the tyrannical nominate hyemalis Juncos. This rip-roaring and violent comedy will leave quite an impact on any audience.
On his deathbed, a Floridian Whooping Crane re-lives his life through a series of flashbacks from meeting his mate to his childhood migration through Colorado. Though estranged from the local population, the story of his life ends up bringing the Sandhill and Whooping Cranes of central Florida closer to each other as they all realize the struggles of being threatened.
The Color Purple Swamphen
This movie chronicles the life of a Purple Swamphen in the American South being subjected to ridicule and oppression from the ABA due to her status as an exotic. Eventually, however, she is transformed into a countable species and finds strength in her new status.
We personally think that these movies could make millions. What bird movies have you seen lately? Are there any that you'd love see get made? We'd love to hear from you.